Thursday, January 01, 2009

New Year's resolutions - 2009

1. Broker peace in the Middle East.

I should be able to find the time in between yoga and giving my cat his meds.

2. Stop Global Warming

I've already begun the work by having my heater break repeatedly.

3. Put Hubble #2 into space.

The original took some of the greatest and most intriguing photos ever. We can't just let it die! Hubble #2 will continue to gaze upon the vast reaches of space. Perhaps we'll finally get a shot of that most elusive phenomenon - Santa.

4. Write the Great American Novel and the Great American Screenplay.

After work and during lunch breaks. It's that easy, right?

5. Find every homeless cat and dog a home.

I don't think my neighbors have a pet. I'll start with them.

6. Prove that Einstein's Theory of Relativity is wrong.

What does the speed of light have to do with energy and mass? Seems kind of random to me.

7. Buy a home.

With no money down during the worst real estate crises ever. No sweat.

8. Never be angry or cranky with anyone ever again.

I'm already so close to perfection. Surely this year I'll finally achieve it.

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