Sitting in my car in my garage this morning, quick check of email on my phone for the first time today.
Scroll down the list of emails from non-profits and advocacy groups. La la la.
See headline: "Mother Bear Kills Cub and Self to Escape Life of Bile 'Milking.'"
Go from 1 to 10 on the rage meter. Eyes tear. Look around for something to rend or throw.
Tell self to calm down.
Start to drive to work.
Unable to get thoughts of animal torture and despair out of head. Wiping surreptitiously under eyes, knowing other drivers aren't looking anyway.
Tell self to calm down again. Remind self that suicide is a touchy subject due to a friend that killed herself.
Ponder the intelligence and emotion in a bear that would rather kill her cub and then herself than continue to live in agony.
Decide for umpteenth time that animals are smarter and more emotional than most humans will ever know. Try to push images of vast animal abuse all over the globe out of head.
Gaze at pedestrians on Hollywood Boulevard. Wonder if they're nice people or evil sons of bitches.
Picture pitched battle with persona of "Despair," using cool ninja martial arts moves.
Imagine donning Iron Man suit, flying over to China, and gunning down any and all humans involved in this vile practice of 'milking' bear bile.
Get to work.
Turn on computer. Get tea. Go immediately to article to find organization who is fighting this practice.
Find Animals Asia online.
Immediately sign petition to end bear bile farming in China.
Post petition to Twitter, trying not to knock every item off my desk in impotent rage. Reflect on how doing that could raise questions about my sanity and then I'd just have to pick everything up off the floor anyway. Also, losing job and/or getting locked up for crazy behavior would strongly curtail my ability to donate money or advocate for these bears or other animals in any way.
Donate money to Animals Asia.
Ponder moving to China to volunteer/work for Animals Asia and help the bears they save.
Realize this is unrealistic. Calming down. Remind myself of all the good that people do as well as all the horror.
Write blog post to channel remaining fury.