Don't Play With Fire, Knuckleheads!

Apparently a bunch of teenagers playing with fireworks are the idiotic arsonists who set the Hollywood Hills ablaze today, not far from where I work. This photo was taken using my phone camera from my boss's office window. That's the Warner Bros. water tower hovering above the rest of the studio lot, soundstages, offices, and smoke.

Fortunately, our heroic firefighters have the thing under control, but as I speak, my office's normally antiseptic air smells like smoke. Ash falls from the sky. Traffic snarls. Asthmatics wheeze. Small animals die in the brush thanks to some clueless kids.

Just the usual apocalyptic fun here in Los Angeles.

Wyrdstuff Wobbles to Its Feet

A new production company has launched - Wyrd Productions, and they've got a blog that covers everything in the world of sci fi, fantasy, horror, comics, and games. Http://wyrdstuff.com. They're still working out the technical kinks, but it's looking pretty good already.

Full disclosure: I post for them under the mysterious name "Nina." And the company was started up by a group of my friends, all talented filmmakers. With many updates every day, it's chock full of interesting info on all things Wyrd.

New (Creative) Job

I can't blog too much about my work, but I did want to post that I started a new job yesterday. I'm now working in development at Horizon Scripted Television, which develops and runs shows for second tier cable. (For you non-TV types, that means networks like FX, TNT, Lifetime, Sci-Fi)

Can't discuss details. Wouldn't want to endanger my fabulous new gig by giving away secrets! But it's exciting to be back in the midst of a creative swirl of energy. I felt this way when I worked with the writers on "Married... With Children." Scripts everywhere, writers and directors coming in for meetings, agents schmoozing...

Ah Hollywood. So fabulous. So annoying. So creative. So insane.

Dating Tips

I've been out on a few dates lately, and I have some tips for success.

I'm going to try not to make this gender specific, so I didn't title this post Dating Tips for Men. Much of this will apply to both sexes. But, because I'm a woman and have dated a few very nice men recently who seem clueless about a few dating basics, this may have a bit of a slant. C'est la vie.

1. Don't talk about your ex. In particular, don't talk about her for 45 minutes, mentioning frequently how "passionate" your relationship was, how you wanted to marry her and blend your families, and how you only broke up a month ago. After all that don't tell me you're over her and ready to move on. I know better, and I've already moved on.

2. Don't ask your date "Why are you still single?" in an accusatory tone. This makes your date defensive and prone to say things like "Well, you're single too." In particular, don't follow up with a tale about how everyone who is single at your age has must have major issues or they wouldn't still be single. Would rather go on a date with a married woman?

3. Don't practically force your date to valet park when she'd rather find free street parking. In particular, don't tell her that you'll pay for valet parking and then not pay for it. Also, don't "get a ride" to your car from the valet in your date's car just so you can get her in the car alone and make a move on her, especially after you haven't paid for the valet. Your date saw through your ploy from the beginning and caved because you were just so transparent. Also, if you are a man and get in a woman's car at the end of the first date, she is going to pretend to be nice until you get out and shut the door, no matter what she thinks of you, just in case you turn psycho.

4. A date should be fun. Don't spend fifteen minutes bitching about how crowded and horrible a location is. Don't get morose about the horrific state of the world. Repeat this to yourself - dating should be fun! Your attitude has everything to do with it.

5. Don't call your date early the next morning, telling her how amazing the date was after she dodged your kiss and ran off at high speed the night before. Wait at least until the afternoon or evening to call. That way you seem only hapless rather than desperate.

6. Listen. Interrupt the monologue on your amazing accomplishments with occasional questions for your date. Actually pay attention to what she is saying. Share information rather than lecturing.

7. Don't email headless, shirtless photos of yourself to your date before you've met her. Or even right after you've met her. Save that for later. If there is a later.

8. Don't text your date every five seconds as you are on your way to the date. Don't text other dates during your date. Don't answer your phone. In fact, turn off the phone. If you can't because you are expecting a call, explain this to your date so she is prepared. If you must take a call, keep it quick, apologize the way you wish politicians would when they're caught, and don't do it again.

9. Relax. There are a lot of fish in the sea.

What Book Are You?

So I took a test online that determines what book you are. Apparently, I'm Huckleberry Finn. But my straw hat is shaped like a cowboy hat, gosh darn it.

You're Adventures of Huckleberry Finn!

by Mark Twain

With an affinity for floating down the river, you see things in black
and white. The world is strange and new to you and the more you learn about it, the less
it makes sense. You probably speak with an accent and others have a hard time
understanding you and an even harder time taking you seriously. Nevertheless, your
adventurous spirit is admirable. You really like straw hats.

Try it!
Take the Book Quiz
at the Blue Pyramid.

Stacy Zink - Artist in the News

Fiber artist, weaver extraodinaire, and smart cookie - that's Stacy Zink, who, as I mentioned a few posts ago, is currently in Baltimore at the "grandaddy" of crafts shows to show her gorgeous, handmade designs to wholesalers and retailers alike.

The local Baltimore news station featured Stacy heavily in a recent broadcast of the show. You can catch a glimpse of her poise and her sense a humor, as well as learn how she makes her scarves, shawls, and ponchos so exquisite. Check out this clip.

Stacy's one who is truly living the creative life here in Los Angeles. But make no mistake, she works twice as hard as most people I know. The odds are against you in this town, but Stacy's proof that it's possible.

Wearable Art

My friend and fashion maven Stacy Zink has new photos of her weaving artistry up on her site.

Click here.

The stuff is gorgeous. She's off now to the big, prestigious Baltimore Crafts Show to hopefully sell out.

Fresh Yarn from Valerie

Okay, it's another Christmas story, but my friend Valerie had her memoir/story "The Christmas Secrets" published online in December in a magazine called Fresh Yarn. It's intimate, candid, horrifying, and funny. But that's Valerie.

Click here.

Great Short Short Story

"Christmas" by Tao Lin. Check it out at Monkey Bicycle:

http://www.monkeybicycle.net/archive/Lin/christmas.html

A Whale of a Valentine

This year the Japanese government aims to hunt more than 1,000 whales in the Southern Ocean whales sanctuary. And once again, Greenpeace will be there to defend the whales. Last year Greenpeace saved 82 whales by confronting the whale hunters on the sea. Eight hundred whales still lost their lives. Ninety percent of the female whales killed in the Southern Ocean last year were either pregnant or nursing.

This Valentine's Day, make your love count. Save a whale. You may not be able to be on the boat that gets between the whales and the Japanese harpoons, but you can help. Greenpeace makes it easy with online actions that involve just a few minutes of your time and involve typing a few words and clicking "send." Go to http://www.greenpeace.org/usa/.

(And check out the kindergarten skills I used to combine an icon of myself with Greenpeace's latest poster/message to Japan, above. Pretty rickety, ey?)

My valentine this year is to the whales, and to the Japanese who oppose whaling. Greenpeace is reaching out to them, and you can too. Kiss someone you love, then go forth and make a difference. Happy Valentine's Day.

Night Hiking

I'm finally feeling better after nearly three weeks of flu. I haven't shivered like that since I was a child. But, back to nearly as good as new and grateful for it, last night I went on a night hike in Griffith Park with my friend Valerie.

We'd done it once before, thanks to the Sierra Club, which attracts dozens of people three times a week to various level hikes through the scrubby hills of the park. It is eerie and delightful to wander through the black and gray world of the wild, right next to the 5 freeway. On overcast nights, the lights of the city bounce off the overhanging clouds with an alien orange glow, providing more than enough light to wander up and down the dirt roads and trails. Clear, moonless nights are dark and require both a level of focus and a trust in your group to find the pitfalls and scare off the predators for you. Is that a rock or a rattlesnake? Well, that elderly lady with the walking stick stepped on it and it didn't bite her. Must be safe.

Strange rustles in the fallen leaves hit your ears just that much sharper when you can't see very far. Once, hiking above a picnic area, we looked down and saw two coyotes playing tag amongst the wooden tables and garbage cans. They romped through our territory while we pushed further into theirs.

Last night we tried a level three hike, which is moderately difficult and lead up a trail apparently called AnkleBreaker. Hmm. The guide, a hearty man in his sixties who left us in the dust, explained that it was much tougher going down AnkleBreaker than going up. But we were treated to a spectacular view of Los Angeles, a conversation with fellow hikers that revealed a new place in Silver Lake to go wine tasting, and yet another coyote, this one making quite a racket near the parking lot. Not the sort of stealth you'd expect from these supposedly crafty canines.

It's exhilarating to wander through the center of a town and feel close to the wild. If you're in LA, you can check out this hike and other fabulous Sierra Club outings, most of them free, at: http://angeleschapter.org/.

Flu

Someone has sketched a dying animal into the outline of my limbs.

Focus on Female Directors

Spent an enjoyable evening at the Egyptian Theater in Hollywood watching a bunch of short films directed by women. It was the American Cinematheque's Second Annual Focus on Female Directors night, a celebration begun and continued by my industrious friend Kim Adelman, who covers short film for the website www.Indiewire.com and has written a fabulous book called The Ultimate Filmmaker's Guide to Short Films: Making It Big in Shorts.

First, I always enjoy a night at Grauman's Egyptian, which since it's remodel has become the most attractive theater in Los Angeles. I am an Egyptophile, so I may be a tad biased, but how many theaters you know have a courtyard containing palm trees, let alone palm trees carefully lit against the sky at night? This theater houses the organization, the American Cinematheque, which does events like last night's Focus on Female Directors, brings back camp classics like Walk on the Wild Side, and promotes the heck out of all sorts of film and filmmakers.

The short films we saw last night were supposedly the creme de la creme of shorts made by women. Zoe Cassavetes directed a 20-minute comedy that evoked her father's realistic style and respect for actors called "Men Make Women Crazy Theory." It was so realistic in its depiction of a neurotic young woman hanging onto a man who treats her poorly that I wanted to shake the character and tell her to get some self respect.

Sanaa Hamri got her start lensing music videos, and we saw an example of this with Prince's video for "Musicology." Very nicely shot. That was followed by the concise, energetic "Viernes Girl," directed by Aurora Guerrero, where an annoyed sister has to listen to her brother seduce a different girl every day, until the Friday girl (Viernes) provides an interesting twist. Ms. Guerrero spoke passionately after the screening about her desire to depict a life more like her own, and how her movie had been shot by a crew that was almost exclusively female, Latina, and queer-identified. At only six minutes long, this film was probably the most inventively directed of the group, using split screen, sometimes even dividing the image in three screens, to address the issue of boundaries -- what keeps people apart and how they come together.

Sian Heder directed "Mother" for the AFI Directing Workshop for Women and got amazing performances out her actors, including twin one-year old girls. One of the few movies that didn't directly deal with romantic love, "Mother" was surprisingly effective and moving.

Gwyneth Paltrow and Mary Wigmore co-directed the most commercial of the films, "Dealbreaker," which had a laugh out loud moment and a predictable ending appropriate for a romantic comedy. While the two-minute "Girl Meets Boy," directed by Grace Lee, utterly confounded the usual romantic comedy stereotypes very effectively. ("Dealbreaker" is available for free download at ITunes. It's 13 minutes long.)

"The Danish Poet," directed by Torill Kove was probably the most popular film of the evening, using animation and the warm voice of Liv Ullmann to tell a whimsical fable about love and destiny. Here the tone of the script meshed beautifully with the more quirky animation, fusing into a story that felt timeless. Short film maven Kim Adelman predicted that it would be nominated for an Oscar for Best Short Film, so keep your eyes peeled, and see it if you can.

Pandora's Box o' Music

Was checking out my pal Wendee's blog, The Digital Fridge Door, and saw that under her "Music I'm Listening To" list she said something about Pandora. So I clicked and found a very cool, free service started by something called the Music Genome Project. http://www.pandora.com/

Type in the name of a musical artist you like, and Pandora creates a radio station based on the type of music that artist makes. I typed in "Neil Finn," creator of Crowded House and genius solo artist, and sure enough, Pandora kicked in with a song of his called "One All." A message appeared saying that the next song would be of a similar structure and type. So now I'm nodding my head to a song called "Back to the Sunrise" by a group called The Folk Implosion. I've never heard of them, but I like them! Next up, "I've got a Flair" by Fountains of Wayne, a group I know thanks to my friend Brian. And sure thing - I like 'em. This rules! I could create another custom radio station by clicking on a button and typing in another artist. Let's do it.

So, I typed in The Clash, and a live version of "London's Burning" is now rocking my speakers. Click a fast forward button and I get "Pictures in the Mirror" by a group called The Living End. I like it! If I didn't, I could fast forward again to the next song of similar type.

This is far better than Amazon.com's feeble recommendations. My vote for the easiest way to find new music. Now if they could only do it for books...

Best Movies of 2006

The Onion calls Children of Men "A heart-breaking, bullet-strewn valentine to what makes us human." I couldn't agree more. The best movies of 2006 helped remind us of our humanity, our connection to each other, and how fragile that connection can be. Here's my list, in no particular order. Keep in mind, I didn't see Babel, Apocalypto, Borat, The Queen, L'Enfant, Shortbus, or Pan's Labyrinth.

Children of Men - Director Alfonso Cuaron turns a heart pounding action film into a moving, funny, harrowing tour de force. Clive Owen is an action hero for the new millenium, one who never picks up a gun.

Volver - Almodovar's best, and that's saying something. Part noir, part comedy, part tragedy, this film peeks into a fascinating family of women and how their connections to each other have made them what they are.

Little Miss Sunshine - Not perfect, but funny, sweet, and inspirational in a low key way that Hollywood never gets right. This low budget film proves Steve Carrell is not only a hilarious comedian, he's a great actor.

The Departed - Almost great Scorsese is better than just about anything else on screen. It's the supporting actors here that shine brightest - a filthy-mouthed Mark Wahlberg, a heavy-footed Alec Baldwin, and fatherly Martin Sheen. Check out the scene where the two actors sit silently on either end of the phone with each other for over a minute. That's good filmmaking.

Army of Shadows - Brilliant, depressing, and very French. See review below.

Little Children - Humdrum suburban life and the unexpected drama that can intrude when a pedofile moves into the neighborhood. I never thought I'd be so happy to see a romance fail as the one concocted between Kate Winslet and Patrick Wilson.

I know there are more good ones out there. I'll post if I get inspired.

Best Depressing Film of 2006

Jean-Pierre Mellville, veteran of the French Resistance and director of "Army of Shadows" said "The war period was awful, horrible... marvelous." This sums up his film, one of the most pitch dark movies you will ever see. Here, complete dedication to a cause, no matter how just, leads inevitably to the loss of your soul.

First released in 1969 in France, but never in America, this bleakest of films was finally distributed to a few lucky art houses in 2006. Decades after he made the film, Melville said, "Don't forget that there are more people who didn't work for the Resistance than people who did." Watching this film, you can't forget it. As life goes on with a semblance of normality around them, grizzled, desperate men struggle against their Nazi occupiers, committing terrible and heroic acts in what becomes an exercise of totaly futility. It's a film of long silences, of loaded glances, and the streets of Paris populated only by German soldiers. It's a masterpiece.

But after you've seen it, go out and have a drink with your friends. Try to find some joy or meaning in life, or this film may just convince you there's no such thing.

Christmas at the Beach

It's difficult to convey the beauty of Bellows Beach if you haven't been there. Yeah, I've posted about the place before. It's the spot on earth where I am happiest, so it'll probably come up again.

I went to Bellows twice while I was in Hawaii for Christmas. The weather was spectacular, the water oddly clear and calm. While huge waves drove amateurs from the ocean on the North Shore, Bellows sported only a calm breeze, short waves suitable for bodysurfing, and clear water, warm and silky against the skin. It's not often you can see the bottom just before you catch a wave. Normally the wave action churns up the sand too much, so even though the water is a friendly blue, it's opaque. Not this time. I could see every one of my pinky white toes resting on the sand as I waited for the next wavelet.

In spite of the small waves, I caught a bunch of rides. Kama'ainas sporting real tans bobbed around me, fruitlessly paddling their boogie boards toward the shore. Teens on surfboards and one dude in a kayak angled and struggled to get moving, rolling backwards off the waves unstead of settling into the barrel in that sweet zone of roiling foam and forward momentum.

I zoomed past them.

Thing is, I look like a tourist - all pale skin and red hair. But once I get in the water, I'm a bodysurfing demon. I rule these tiny waves.

2006 - The Year of No

I resist efforts to categorize lives into sections called "years." To characterize a slice of time and boil it down to some supposed essence because the earth went around the sun once is to deny the connections in our lives that continue from year to year.

But look! Here I am categorizing like crazy!

The truth is, categorizing stuff is fun. It ignores subtlety and nuance. It's black and white. But it helps you to make sense of the story of you life. So here goes.

One of the things I learned in 2006 is that "no" can be a very positive word. I said it a lot this past year. And I'm better for it. I said no to pointless guilt over a friend's death, no to friends and acquaintances who took more than they gave, and no to a handsome, semi-famous man who wasn't right for me, (No, I won't name him, but he's one of those actors whose face you've seen a million times, even if you don't know his name. And look! I said no again!) In fact, there were a few no's to a few nice men. Nothing wrong them, except they were wrong for me.

And no to guilt over saying no. No!

Can it be just coincidence that "no" and "know" are homonyms? In saying no, you learn about your own boundaries and needs. You know yourself. You celebrate yourself. Know no. Do it.

The voters said no to the Iraq war and to a republican majority in Congress. Viacom said no to Tom Cruise. Britney Spears said no to Kevin Federline. Silly? Sure. No can be fun. No can tease. No can make you search harder for the yes.

Garans Ball-Barans!

I've always loved garans ball-barans, an exclamation unique to Hawaii. I have no idea where it came from, but it whisks me instantly back to fourth grade, and walks to the store to pick up a manapua (that's a local type of dim sum) or some candy after school.

Yeah, I'm going home to Hawaii for Christmas. Take a look at Santa below. Soon, that'll be me.

My Dad sent me a local Hawaiian style take on "The Night Before Christmas." If you've ever been to the islands, you'll get it. If you haven't, there's a glossary for the pidgen terms and phrases that you might find helpful at the end.

Mele Kalikimaka li' dat!
Was da night bafo' Christmas - DaKine Local Style Story

Was da night bafo' Christmas, and all ova' da place,
Not even da geckos was showin' their face.
Da stockings was hangin' on top da TV
('Cause no mo' fireplace in Hawai'i)
Da kids stay all crashed, my old man too.
They leave all da work for you-know-who.

So me, I stay pickin' up alla their toys,
When - boom! - outside get only big noise!
I run to da window, I open 'em up,
I stick out my head and I yell, "Eh! Whassup?!"
And then, I no can ba-lieve what I seen!
Was so unreal, you know what I mean?

This fat haole guy get his reindeers in my yard!
And reindeers not housebroken, you know, as' why hard!
But nemmind, this Christmas, so I cut 'em some slack
Plus, had uku pile presents pokin' outta his sack!
So I wait 'till he pau tie up his reindeer,
Then I yell out da window, "Huui! Brah, ova hea!"

An' I tell 'em first thing, when I open da door,
"Eh, Hemo your shoes! You going dirty my floor!"
He take off his boots, he tell, "You know who I am?"
I go, "Ho! From the smell, must be Mr. Toe Jam!"
He make mempachi eyes and he go, "Ho, ho, ho!"
By now, I stay thinking this guy kinda slow!

He look like my Tutu, but little less weight,
And his beard stay so white, mo' white than shark bait!
He stay all in red, specially his nose,
And get reindeer spit on top his nice clothes!
But him, he no care; he just smile at me,
And he start fo' put presents unda-neath da tree.

I tell 'em, "Eh, brah, no need make li'dat,
And watch where you step! You going ma-ke da cat!"
Then, out from his bag, he pull one brand new computah,
Choke video games, and one motorized scootah!
He try for fill up da Christmas socks too,
But had so much pukas, all da stuff when fall troo.

When he pau, I tell 'em, "Eh Santa, try wait!
I get plenty leftovahs, I go make you one plate!"
But he nevah like hang, he had so much fo' do;
Gotta make all them small kids' wishes come true.
So I wave 'em goodbye, and I flash 'em da shaka,
And I tell 'em, "Mele Kalikimaka!"

When he hear that, he stop... and I telling you true,
He go, "Garans ball-barans! Merry Christmas to you!"

Mele Kalikimaka!

Glossary:
Da kine – the thing, the type of thing, a sort of, a, the (DaKine Local Style Story = a sort of Hawaiian-type story)
Local style – how it’s done in Hawaii
Bafo’ - before
‘as why – That’s why
da – the
seen - see
nemmind – nevermind
pau – finished, done
haole – white person, not necessarily derogatory, literally “foreigner” in Hawaiian
Huui – exclamation
Brah – sir, madam, hey you, form of address, can be either friendly or unfriendly, depending on tone
Uku – payment, tribute, reward
Hemo – take off
Stay – (I.e., “he stay all in red”) – remain, exist, was
Li’ dat – like that
Ma-ke (pronounced mah-kay) – kill, dead
Choke – excellent, top notch
Troo - through
Shaka – hang loose (a hand gesture where thumb and pinkie stick out and other three fingers are closed into the fist.)
Try wait – hang on a second
Puka – hole
Tutu – Auntie
Mempachi – a type of fish
Garans ball-barans – exclamation of wonder or delight

Across America

Mom and I made it from Baltimore to LA in five days this Thanksgiving week. We took the 81 down Virginia's Shenandoah Valley to the 40, through Tennessee, Arkansas, Oklahoma, Texas, New Mexico, Arizona, and California. Whew!

It went well. The restrooms at the rest stops along the 40 are remarkably clean. Thank goodness. Above is a shot of Mom at a rest stop in Tennessee along a stretch of the 40 dedicated to Al Gore, Sr. and the men and women of the Armed Forces. We encountered some snow while we sped through the beautiful Smoky Mountains, but Mom's gold ol' Honda Accord soldiered on without a hitch.

We got off the 40 in Oklahoma to find Eakly, a tiny town along the 58 where Mom used to visit her cousins every summer. We asked a guy in a pick up truck where the cemetary was, and he pointed up the hill, near the water tower. Sure enough, there it was. There we found Mom's biological father's grave. His name was L.T. Moore, and we know little else about him, except that his mother and father and baby brother are also buried nearby. But the graves include photographs of the deceased. It's the only record we have of what he looked like. He definitely had Mom's eyes. Or she has his eyes, I guess I should say.

I futzed in IPhoto with this photo, and it got a lot more interesting. Who knew they grew corn in Virginia?

We got back to LA on Thanksgiving Day, grateful for a safe trip and the opportunity to do it. Sick of the car, we walked to El Compadre to have Mexican food on turkey day.

I'm still downloading photos. More soon.